Friday, October 14, 2011

This Shit is Hard!

I hope the title says it all.

I don't remember in any advice or from reading baby books about how much the first few weeks actually is hard, and I don't mean hard but rewarding; I mean hard as I want to pack my bags and run away to the west coast hard. Or somebody give me back my old life. I mean that in the most honest way possible. Of course I don't want to run away or be without baby A, but, well, you know---I am still looking for the sunshine and happy elephants roaming the wilderness scenario where my baby sleeps, smiles, eats, and raises his hand when he needs something instead of clawing me with his tiny tiny fingers.

DH went back to work, and I have to admit I like it better when he isn't here. If I know I have to do it all, I can pace myself. When I believe I can rely on someone else, I get sorely disappointed and even more upset when DH can't help the baby. I can't even help the baby sometimes, but at least when it's just me, I feel more patient, as if I have to be.

My parents and brother were here this past weekend/week. Visitors are hard to handle, especially when they stay for longer than an hour or so. I mean, I am so used to acting like it's the playboy mansion around here, walking around with my shirt off and my boobies exposed. When you have long term guests, you gotta be civilized, and that means being fully dressed.

On a happy note, I am 4 pounds away from prepregnancy weight. My boobs are rockin huge, and I mean cleavage and I didn't even wear a push-up bra huge. I have my post partum doctor appointment next Tuesday. She's seeing me at 4 weeks and I am hoping I get the green light to exercise (hello running shoes...) and have sex. Yes, I actually want sex, can you believe it? I must be insane.

Baby A has been better the last couple of days. My diet is pretty bland now because he has had the worst stomach issues. I eliminated dairy, chocolate, caffeine, and nuts, and he is so much better. We are giving him Mylicon drops 6-8 times a day and sometimes Gripe water. I swear I have the fussiest baby ever born.

I am back to work on the 24th, and I am strangely looking forward to reconnecting with civilization for a few hours a day. I don't know how the hell I am going to manage the workload, papers, research, cleaning, cooking, dog care, and baby care, but I guess I'll manage.

Uh oh. A is grunting and groaning. Time to get out the milk jugs! More later, y'all!


M said...

Your playboy mansion comment made me laugh because I can totally relate. I hate nursing in public because you have to mess with the bunched up shirt and the nursing cover... At home you can just walk around in your bra!

Glad the diet modifications are helping. I did the same with Austin and it's HARD! I cheated once and ate a big piece of pizza with tons of cheese and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven :) Hang in there!

Allison said...

Dude, this shit IS hard. I want to run away...but without anyone or anything. Except that there isn't anywhere else I want to be. Basically, just existing is hard right now.

Poor fussy lil guy. :( Give Momma a break!

If you need someone to chat with, you can leave your email in my comments and I won't publish it.

erika said...

The dietary restrictions do suck. I mean ... i can't imagine handling the mental overload without certain goods. But I am glad to hear you found what might have made Baby A uncomfortable.
Adjusting to baby is nothing how I imagined before, my head is keep spinning (at times when I actually have it on, LOL) but it seems you rock it, Mommy!
I hope your transition to back to work will be smooth! good luck.
And Yeah! for loosing all the baby weight so soon! that's amazing!:)

Roccie said...

Oh this post is a real lol! Hell no, no one tells you it is such hard ass work. You wouldnt believe them anyhow. Thankfully, when you look back on it in a few months, it will be all softened and sweet - just like you imagined.

You read Happiest Baby on the Block? It saved my brain. It explained it all away - the 4th trimester and just how RAW these little critters still are! Hard ass work. Amen.

Of course you are ready for some lovin' - getting close to pre-preg weight is 90% the battle as far as I am concerned.... although, I really still dont like as much boob attention as I did pre-baby...



Kitty said...

Well at least you still have your sense of humor, right? LOL :)

Your post reminds me so much of my brother and SIL when they had their second baby. She was a champion crier and my SIL was ALMOST serious about giving her to me in her darker hours. Hang in there, I hear it gets easier eventually :)

Jill said...

It IS hard. Especially those first couple of months. I remember one night getting up for the 3am feeding at about two months and baby gave me the biggest smile. Oh, how it made it all worth it. After that she always smiled and cooed during that middle-of-the-night-what-have-I-done-give-me-my-life-back feeding. She was very fussy too and soy formula was the only thing that made a real difference. If I had been nursing I never would have been able to restrict my diet like that. I am a very picky eater and wouldn't have had enough to choose from! So kudos to you for making it work. I promise, it gets so much better! Hang in there!

Susann said...

I wrote a post at about three weeks much like this, and my husband said I was being too negative.

I finally had my zazoo moment this week... and confessed it.

The first few weeks are just sink or swim, I've decided. And very few people admit it out loud.

You are doing a great job, I'm sure!

Alex said...

Thanks for being so honest about it being hard! So many women talk about how wonderful it is to have a baby, and I'm sure it is. But it's good to know there are those that struggle with adjusting to it! Because then you're not alone...

Hang in there! Way impressed with getting so close to pre-prego weight with your rockin' boobs!

Ashley said...

I have to admit that the first three weeks weren't bad, in my opionion. It was weeks 3-12 that were pure horror in my house. I really did think I would just go to a hotel to live for awhile one night. I packed my bags and everything! Luckily, I didn't leave. For us, the light came around 7 months and slowly went up. At a year, things are much better. Hang in there girl!

Rosie said...

I hear you! I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed for the first 6 weeks. Now I'm just overwhelmed.
Do buy the book The Happiest Baby on the Block, like Roccie says. I'm halfway thru it and bought it yesterday. You really can help him to quiet down. I can't say enough good things about a very tight Swaddle, it really helps.
Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

He's so adorable, I almost wish my son was that size again! Almost. :)

The first six weeks, I thought I had made a huge mistake with the whole motherhood thing. I really didn't start to feel better about it until I went back to work and got time away from the baby. I hope it gets easier for you soon.