Friday, June 24, 2011

How to talk to little girls

I just read this article from the Huffington Post.

This has also been much discussion around our house simply because we have been on the hunt for baby items, and it seems that everything tends to be gendered, or at least color-gendered. Our friends have been gracious in donating their baby stuff to us. Between purchases on Craigslist and donations, we are almost set with the basic stuff: crib, bedding, car seat, jogging stroller, outfits, etc. I am accepting any and all hand me downs whether it is "boy" or "girl." I mean, who really cares if a boy or girl sleeps on blue sheets or is wrapped in a pink blanket. I don't care, really. A sheet is a sheet is a blanket. Why do we dress baby girls in overtly "feminine" clothing? And why do most baby boy items have emblems like footballs and monsters and dark colors?

Much of my response to those who ask why I didn't want to find out the gender of our baby so soon has been somewhat of a retort to this whole gendering thing: I usually quip "I don't want to subject this child to gender-limits before it is even born." Yeah, I know, I am being a smart ass, and my closest buds and family know that, but to strangers, they seem offended by my response. Of course little girls are adorable when they wear frilly things, but why can't my girl wear a blue onesie with a baseball on it?

Bloom's article seems to suggest that simply because we address girls by noticing their clothing or looks, we are dooming them to a life of self-obsession about their looks. I disagree. I think that part of the reason so many young girls seems to be so obsessed isn't because some stranger said they looked cute. I think it is about the massive amounts of media kids are exposed to now a days. My childhood role models were the Brady Bunch kids, and they were hand-me-down rough. Hannah Montana and the likes seem to be a bit more glamourized than Jan, Marsha, and Cindy.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

29 weeks

Lately I've been thinking about what if this baby is a boy. Do we circumcise? This is a question many people ponder.

First, let me say that once you begin the research, there are proponents for it and those who feel it is unnecessary. Most recent discussion is happening in San Francisco and the proposal to ban it. It's hard not to pay attention, and for me, this decision holds no religious significance. Until recently, DH and I thought we'd definitely have bebe circumcised (if it were a boy), but recently I am leaning toward not doing it. First, I have to admit that I watched some youtube videos that actually show the process: doctor and baby in a sterile room, baby screaming, clearly in pain. It's an awful awful thing to watch, and if you google the videos, you might have nightmares.

I can't imagine choosing to put my child through such pain. DH, on the other hand, quipped that he was circumcised and he is not mentally scarred. DH even said that we should do it because he remembers the few kids in his school who weren't circumcised and got teased in the locker rooms. I don't want my child teased not do I want him emotionally scarred because of a decision I made.

So I sit here, contemplating the pros and cons and wonder what the best decision is. I'd appreciate any thoughts from you all on this discussion. What are you planning to do, or what have you chosen to do in this situation? I know there is no right or wrong decision here. It is truly what's best for the family. But I just don't know.

Friday, June 17, 2011

3rd Trimester

Wednesday began week 28! I can't believe I am here. I have been waiting for this week to come since first finding out that we were pregnant via ultrasound. 28 weeks was the goal for the triplet pregnancy, but even more so now, 28 weeks means that if something was to begin, baby would have an excellent chance of surviving. I know things can still go wrong, but premature labor and birth is less about preparing for death right now. Morbid, I know, but this has been one of my secret fears.

I've begun to start planning for the birth, and by planning, I mean checking out stuff. Topic for today: labor mixtape. Are you going to prepare one? I've begun the process by organizing cool and calming songs. My birth plan included just me and the world: no drugs and hopefully no medical intervention. No drugs for sure, so I have been reading and rereading the Mongan method of Hypnobirthing. We wanted to do classes, but there are few in our area and they are all on Saturdays, which does not work for DH. Anyway, I have much practice in meditation and am hoping those skills will transfer to the birthing room.

But Mixtapes: what song or songs are a must have for the birthing process?

Saturday, June 11, 2011

8 things not in the pregnancy book

1. Boobs sweat and slump: Boobs now rest on belly. This is a new thing for me since I have always had a considerable amount of room between the belly and the boobs. Now they rest comfortably on my stomach if they are not harnessed. And speaking of harnesses--boy oh boy can boobs sweat.

2. Crotch sweat: Need I say more? I am changing my undies 3 times per day because I am soaking them with sweat. Friggin nasty.

3. Crotch itch: Probably has something to do with #2, but it's not a yeast infection and only flares up in the evenings before bed. My crotch is red and sore and itchy and the only thing that helps is a shower and a clean crotch before bedtime.

4. Baby powder: necessary in pregnancy because of #1-3.

5. Sudden nausea: what's up with that? I was teaching the other morning and the room started spinning and I got super hot. I choked back airy chunks and warned my class that I might hurl. Feeling passed in 15 minutes.

6. Moles getting bigger? Skin cancer? Nope. Not really. I went to the dermatologist on Friday because several mole-like structures started looking different/growing/changing color. Doc said, "Welcome to old age, and welcome to pregnancy. Things will just start growing on your body now." Huh? Gross.

7. Breathing is not so fun anymore: Yeah yeah, I read this one in the pregnancy books, and was winded in the first trimester if I walked up a flight of stairs, etc. Now I can just be sitting there, doing nothing, and poof! I am breathing shallow breaths. Yes, baby is growing and all, but it's pretty freaky to feel like you are being suffocated a bit.

8. Leaky boob: I said boob cause only one is oozing. Does this mean I will be a one boob show for the baby?

Hope you are all well. I finally got my commenting power back, so forgive me for the commenting absence. Countdown on the bog says 88 days and I am starting to get nervous. Last night I unloaded on hubs, somthing about making sure we cherish the next 88 days because it is the last time it will just be me and him, and that I will miss that part of our life.