Monday, September 26, 2011

Birth Story Part I

So I thought it all started Friday night. I began having what I thought were real contractions. I wasn't in pain, but they definitely felt different from the regular BH. Those contractions continued into Saturday, so much so that DH began packing up the car. Then, early in the am on Sunday, nada! It all stopped, and I was sad. I figured this was my last chance to go in au natural and not have to be hooked up to machines.

Monday morning we checked in at 6:00am for the induction. I was 41w5d, and with the activity of the past weekend, I figured they'd check me and say "Wow, look how far you've come!"

No such luck.

Me and my pret.ty pus.hers gown. Aren't I huge??

The doc came in around 8:00 and checked me. I was still around 2, -2 station (what what? baby went back up?) and my cervix was high. My "labor" pains this weekend? Obviously nothing because I regressed.

She told me she was starting me on cyto.tec. I freaked out. I thought we were doing cervidil, and all the google search I've done on cytotec was so scary, so we discussed the pros of cytotec. She basically said that the cytotec is a pill, works for 4 hours, and its job is to soften my cervix. So the pill was inserted and we waited. I was bound to the bed for 2 hours, but that was fine because I was feeling nothing other than the urge to pee. DH and I watched TV, and when I could move out of the bed, I went to the bathroom and then proceeded to do anything in my power to get things started. I was bound to the bed area--I had the GBS IV, saline IV, and the contraction monitor and baby monitor around my belly. I was a pissy beyotch to say the least. I was not fun. I felt trapped and irritable, but I pushed on forward. I danced, walked in circles, did yoga, belly danced, whatever to keep moving.

Then the nurse came back around 12:30 to check me. The cervix was really really soft, but other than than, nothing. The monitor showed I was contracting every 3 minutes or so, but I wasn't feeling anything. She went off to call the doc and said she'd be back with the next step, which according to the doc earlier would be pitocin. Blah! I was pissy again. Then, I swear as soon as she left the room, I heard a loud thump on the baby monitor to coincide with what I felt as huge thump in my belly.

And it was like I was hit by a truck. No lie. The contractions just began like freakin mad! I was stunned and shocked at the intensity of what was happening. My body just went crazy. I was speechless, breathless, and I thought I just wanted to run away. It was the most thrilling rush I had ever experienced.

And it kept happening.

The nurse came back and said the doc said we could try a thrid method, and that was to see if my body would begin contracting on its own. As soon as she said that, she looked at the monitor and said "Like it is doing now." I breathed out a "yes," and she left us alone.

And the party began. The next time I looked at the clock, it was 3:30pm, and I was yelling our code word for the epidural.

I caved, but let me tell you what happened. This was not fun. Not that I expected labor to be fun, but I forgot EVERYTHING! I forgot how to breathe, what position to be in. All sense of confidence and control of what I was supposed to do was GONE! And I am not just talking about birth breathing and all that jazz, but even meditation. Gone. I wished I had a doula, but I didn't. My poor DH tried to do the acupressure, but every time he put his hands on me, I tensed up even more!! It was awful. I was horrible and mean and feeling it all. All of the world felt like it was pushing down in my lower back and butt. This was labor!!! I was in labor, and I wanted out. I wanted to run.

I chose the epidural because I was literally stuck in a corner. I didn't want this moment to be something I hated, and I was beginning to go nuts. The only thing I could do was goddess pose and breath heavily, and after 3 hours, my throat felt as though it was on fire. I would barely speak.

The nurse checked me around 3:30pm and I was around 5 cm dialted. She had to infuse me with 2 liters of saline before I could be numbed up, so I continued to goddess and breathe and tell baby to move down. The music was blasting in the ipod (I had headphones on). I was singing. Imust have looked like a freakin lunatic. Definitely not the beautiful natural hypnobirthing videos I saw on you tube.

The epidural was put in about 30 minutes later and as I was being scooched back, my water broke. The nurse checked me and I was at 7! She phoned the doc, and the doc said she'd be ASAP. I was having a baby in the next few hours!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

He's here!

Yup. It's a boy, and he weighed in at 8 lbs 2 oz. We got home earlier today. I'll be back for the long story, but short story is one cytotec inserted at 8:30 am softened me up a bit for labor to happen on its own. Pushed for about 45 minutes and had him at 7:46pm. My computer is sucking it right now and won't upload any photo. I'll be back later this weekend for the update. Love to you all!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

back from my appointment

Today: 41w1d

Progress since last check-up: Nothing new. Almost at 2cm, but everything is still the same: -1 station, 60 percent effaced.

Induction is scheduled for Monday morning. I go in at 6AM. This pregnancy started off as a medical procedure, so I guess it will end as a medical procedure, too. She plans to start me off with cervidil, then pitocin. I will be on a constant monitor, which means I will be confined to within 6 feet of my monitor. No ability to get in the shower for water therapy or walk around other than around my bed. I fear the confinement will hinder my ability to control the pain without meds, which was my goal. I am disappointed in my body right now. That's all. I couldn't get knocked up on my own, and I can't have this baby on my own. Yeah, quit bitchin, right? At least I'm pregnant. I should be thankful, blah blah.

I know this, but at the same time, I cannot help but feel disappointed, and that's OK, too. I think it is fair to say that it's time to let go of the "ideal birth plan" I had for myself. So there. Poof! Gone.

On a side note, in about 8-12 hours, I am really going to regret the hella spicey buritto I ate for lunch today. In my last attempt at natural induction, I went all out on the spicey. For real. I loaded that thing up with habanero peppers, jalapeno peppers, chorizo, steak---oh so spicey I thought my lips were peeling off. You all might hear me screaming from the loo!

See you all on the other side! Wish me luck, as I plan to shut down the dr. google and obsession with the birth. I am off to enjoy the next 4 nights and 3 days sans work and responsibilities.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

41 weeks

I received an email from congratulating me on my baby's first week. I laughed. I guess I am carrying around a one week old baby. ha!

Still no news yet, but I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow in the late morning, so hoping for progress! I've been a bit stir crazy. I felt well enough in the back to go for a 2 mile walk today. I'm trying any and all methods of natural induction, and as of yesterday, I bought a hand pump and expressed my breasts for 10 minutes on each side. Hello, can someone say contraction action? I did it around 5:00 pm, and then went for a small walk with the dog, then had some major movement of the uterus for over two hours. It all subsided around 8:30pm, but never the less, yikes! I was alone and a bit scared of it all. I read that this method needs to be done sparingly so one doesn't over stimulate the uterus.

Today I bought pineapple because I heard that pineapple works, too. I'll be having pineapple for dinner tonight! Yumm!

I also hopped on amazon and purchased my workout dvds for post baby. I bought Radiant Mom Yoga and Post Natal Pilates all with the hopes of toning my core and belly. I know I won't be going to yoga on a regular basis like I used to, so I need home motivation, and these dvds seemed to call to me.

Oh, and the fertility clinic called earlier today. My IVF nurse wanted to see how it all went. I gave her the same story I've been telling people all week, but when I hung up, I thought, oh, my chart said triplets. I wonder if she thinks I am 41 weeks along with triplets! I don't see why the MFM or my OB would have consulted with the clinic after the confirmed loss of the identicals. Hmmm...I bet she's walking around the office right now scratching her head. Oh well. I'll call with an update once baby has emerged.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Nah..not labor

All those lovely BH's with minor aching went away. I've had maybe 5 BH since early this afternoon, so I guess it was all "false labor."

Speaking of "false labor," I've been all over google searching the term prodromal labor. This term just seems like a nicer or more professional term for false labor.

Is this labor?

I think I might be in early labor. I started having some regular BH-like contractions last night after our dinner party. They were a bit more intense than regular BH. They don't really hurt; I would describe them as feeling like intestinal cramping as if I have to use the bathroom. They are around a minute or less and are coming anywhere from every 15-20 minutes to sometimes every 5-7. Very irregular. It actually woke me up a few times when I would finally fall asleep.

My head and heart are wrapped around the idea that this baby would emerge around the full moon. This morning around 4am was the full moon, so if this is labor, then he/she is beginning to emerge. The blast transfer was during the full moon, so wouldn't it be appropriate for the baby to come during the full moon, too?

DH drove me nutso last night. I tossed and turned, hit the couch, all the normal stuff I've been doing since this crazy back pain. However, each time I moved, he shot up and asked, " Are you OK? Is it time?" It was cute the first 100 times, but after awhile I got a bit bitchy and said (in a bitchy loud voice) "I'm FINE!" I apologized 100 times and he was so incredibly sweet and never mad at me for being a diva. I told him nicely this morning not to treat me any differently, and if I think this is more intense labor, I will let him know. He went to work today, thank goodness, because I don't think I can handle him asking how I am every 15 minutes.

Today is day 1 of maternity leave. I think I might get my nails done and a brow wax. And I have laundry to do. And I have sleep to catch up on.

Come on, baby!

Friday, September 9, 2011

I'm late!

Officially, I'm overdue. Righttttt....and I am in so much frickin pain. I can't sleep or walk. This totally sucks and my infertile guilt is kicking in hard that when I am upset by this pain, I get down on myself for being miserable. But I am.

I decided today was my last day of teaching. All is good there, but that means that I'm stuck at home until the 19th at the latest. Yup. No more progress on the labor/pre-laor front. Doc checked me Thursday and I'm still 1.5cm and -1 station, 60% effaced. Whatev's, right? She's giving me to the 19th then we induce. I think I am willing to endure this hellish pain until then for a chance at a drug free birth. We'll see, right?

I really can't complain. I've had such a wonderful pregnancy up until these past 8 days. sigh...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Widget WTH?

Hey widget on the side of my blog. Why are you now adding days to this pregnancy? This morning I woke up and it said 1. No, my friend. You should be saying "-1" or "Come out already!"

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Due date!

And still waiting. This sciatica thing has me walking like one of Michael Jackson's Thriller zombies. Or like Tony Soprano's Russian mistress, Svetlana. I am literally dragging my right leg as I walk.

I had an acupuncture appointment yesterday to help cure this pain. I feel better today, but in no way am I able to walk far distances.

I have no other labor signs other than pretty regular BH. Bebe is still kicking and punching my right side, mostly when I am trying to fall asleep. I am still checking the heartbeat like a crazy infertile. I swear that baby beat thing has saved my sanity.

Appointment with OB tomorrow afternoon. Let's hope for some kind of progress.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Call me Ms. Waddle

Oh holy moses. Really. This pain is killing me. I think it is sciatic or sciatica or whatever, but there is shooting pain up my right side and down my left side when I walk. For reals this hurts. I was doing the ol' ice for 10 and heat for 10 yesterday, and when I woke up today, I felt a little better. However, I just got back from a trip to Whole Foods to buy more prenatal vitamins and a decaf iced espresso, and I am tense and bitchy. Ugh.

No real contractions, so I don't think this is labor. Which, what the heck does labor feel like? How will I know? I have BH, but I've had those for the last 4 months.

I've done about every stretch possible for sciatic pain, and it seems to help. When I am sitting I am fine. When I am lying down, I'm fine. The problem is with walking. Nothing stops the pain when I walk.

So here I am at this crazy conundrum: I'm supposed to walk to get things moving, but walking hurts, so I can't walk and am possibly keeping the real labor at bay.


Anyway, I am super happy sipping on the iced decaf double espresso. Ahhhhhh....

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Mucus and Tropical Storms

Nice title, eh? I am in the midst of tropical storm Lee right now. It's funny; I always laughed that this baby would be born during some hurricane evacuation, somewhere on I-55 as we were heading out of town. This TS snuck up on my region, and we are getting hit with weird winds and bands of rain, but nothing worth evacuating for. The roads by the hospital we plan to deliver at are flooded right now, but that happens a lot in my city since we are essentially living in a bowl.

So, I am trapped indoors this weekend due to the storm. DH is working, and I plan to do laundry, clean, and grade some papers.

Oh, and I had the oh so dramatic loss of the mucus plug on Thursday. Yup. I got off the toilet, and before I could pull up my undies and pants, it plopped on the floor of the bathroom. Like an alien being. Dude. That thing looked so bizarre. I almost took a picture (gross, I know), but I didn't. I did stare at it for a minute just to even comprehend what it was I was looking at. Three tissues later it was scooped off the floor and into the toilet. And then began Dr. Google. It's been two days and no signs of labor, so I guess I am one of those whose mucus plug loss means nothing.

I have been aching a lot more lately. Remember how I said I was so happy my classes were a ten minute walk from my office? Well, Friday, I was waddling to get there. No fun. My belly feels tight and stretched, my lower back and buttocks are achy, and it is kinda hard to walk normally. I was at the chalk board giving a lecture and I looked ridiculous moving side to side. I told my students to feel free to laugh at me. And they did. If these pains mean anything, then maybe labor is near.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Still cookin'

39w1d, and I'm still here. I just got back from the doc and not much has changed for me. I am now 1.5cm dialated, which is a small improvement. I am also definitely at -1 station. I feel different. I am doing the pregger waddle now. The baby is making the lady parts ache now, and walking is kinda achy, too. I know I am progressing, even though the numbers aren't showing this.

On an even happier note--doc says we'll talk about medical measures when I hit one week past the due date. Yipee! So I have until September 14 before induction or anything gets discussed. Ah...In the meantime, I'll keep up with the acupuncture appointments in hopes that TCM speeds things up a bit.