CD 14, 1 DPIUI, feeling alright

I am actually OK today. DH and I BD'd lst night, and I am pretty sure that his load was much higher than the sample from yesterday. HA! TMI, I know, but heck, I had to get more in there, ya know. Around 8:00pm yesterday, I had the ovulation cramping, so I am pretty confindent that the eggs released. Come one, eggies!!

I feel optimistic and pretty darn happy today. I've been a good girl--I'm keeping my feet warm, drinking "spiced" hot teas, breathing, relaxing, feeling quite positive. I am supposed to start prometr.ium Wednesday evening. I'll be taking it twice a day until, and this time I get to take it intravaginally. I guess the side effects are limited if I do it this way rather than orally. When I was taking it last time, I was having the most awful side effects: it always felt like I had to pee although I didn't, constipation, headaches, insomnia. Yuck!

So, lots of laundry to do for this rainy evening. Did I mention we are moving yet again? Yup. We are finally out of this horrible place and moving to another place in the neighborhood we really want to live in. I'm almost done packing!!! Did I mention how much I loathe moving?

Happy Tuesday!

CD13, IUI a complete failure

Well, maybe not, but I understand percentages and numbers, and I can tell you that 1.7 million sperm post-wash is bad bad bad.

WTF?

The doc said that it looked like a different man. Then I asked her, "Is it?" I know it's not, though. DH had *ahem* troubles this morning. He worked all weekend and woke up crabby and took a hot shower before his he did his "job." Whatever. I am over it. His numbers were 6 million pre wash, and the ones that made it inside of me were a 77% motility, so that it good.

I am not expecting anything wonderful here. The honest truth is that I feel a bit relieved--if this doesn't work, for the first time I won't feel like it's all my fault. This time, it's his, too.

CD 11, update

It's on for Monday. Tonight I trigger, and then bright and early Monday morning, the specimen needs to be at the office by 8:00 AM and I am scheduled for 10:00 AM. I've emailed my students, so I am off that day. Yup, I am sure that it probably won't make a difference, but I plan to be in a resting pose most of the day on Monday, doing some acupressure and massage and positive thinking.

And drinking things with cinnamon in it. Yup. My TCM doc said that I need to warm myself up, and hot tea with cinnamon bark is good for the ute. Didn't someone recently comment on the cold uterus thing?

CD 11, fertility goodies

What your viewing is the remnants of breakfast: apple turnover, strawberry turnover, and the wrapper for the most delicious chocolate donut stuffed with vanilla pastry cream. This was my treat for my Saturday morning monitoring appointment. There's a donut shop about a half mile from the clinic. So today I thought, heck, it's a Saturday morning. Why not get a doughnut? DH was all too happy when I walked through the front door at 9:00 AM with this pastry box. Of course, I am crashing now, but whatever.

The monitoring appointment went fine. All of my big follies grew about 2 mm. I have 3 definite dominant follies, one almost there, and two that could be something, so that's a total of 6 big ones. Last month I had three major dominant follies and 3 minor ones, so I am about the same. My right ovary is the one producing so many this time. That's about right since it is technically the right ovary's turn. The problem with that is my right tube is blocked, so my left tube will have to pick up the eggs. This is all so very scientific and confusing to me. Sometimes I just wish there really was a stork who brought happy, loving couples a baby.

I'm waiting for the phone call to tell me if the IUI will be on Monday or Tuesday. I plan to take the day off, so as soon as I know, I'll need to send emails out to my lovely students. The one thing about working for a 2 year college is that when you cancel class, students jump for joy. If it were a regular college, I am sure that one or two students would be pissed.

I'll post more once I know. Right now, I'm taking advantage of this crash and napping. Cheers!

CD 10, growing growing

On another note, my monitoring went well. I'm waiting for a call about my bloodwork, but my left ovary has 4 follies growing and the right has about 8 or 9! They aren't all big yet; a few are above 14 mm, so I am not quite ready. The nurse thinks that I might have to come back for more monitoring tomorrow or Monday and possibly a Wednesday IUI. Again, I won't know until she calls. I'll update later when I find out.

HA!

Just as I was posting this, the nurse called. Ok. I do another vial of menopur tonight and a ganirelex (sp). Tomorrow I go in for US and BW at 8:00 AM, then most likely I will trigger tomorrow night and IUI Monday.

Phew!

This is faster than I thought!!

I'm off to Dr. Google now. My blood work showed my E2 at 730 (excellent, I guess, according to the nurse) and I want to read up on the ganirelix.

CD7, disposal?

What exactly am I supposed to do with a full Sharps Collector? Am I supposed to put it in the regular garbage? Do I take it to the clinic? Do I decorate it as if it were a Christmas tree? I'm puzzled because I am extremely careful about how I dispose of things, and I believe in recycling and composting. However, one cannot compost or recycle used needles and empty vials of menopur. Hmm...

Anyway, CD 7 is here (or is it CD 4 according to AF), and I take my final dose of clomid tonight. I have not had any side effects this time around. I was expecting the dizziness like I had from last time, but so far it has been smooth sailing. I've been good with my fertility yoga and my fertility ball. Now if I could just get motivated enough to grade the fifty student papers that are burning a hole in my book sack.

CD 6, blah blah blah

Nothing much to report here except I think I got AF Saturday night. Yesterday I had mild cramps and a good amount of AF. I should expect this, right, since last Tuesday was my last day of BC (not being AF prepared really sucks, especially when you have on cute knickers). The doc did not mention this, though. I am supposed to assume that CD 1 was the first day I was not on BC. Hmmm... weird.

I take clomid for two more nights, then two nights of menopur shots, then off to the RE for monitoring on Friday. I can't wait!

CD 3, Baby, it's on...

E2=36
FSH=4.5

right ovary= 2 follies
left ovary= 5 follies

Starting tonight, I take clomid for 5 nights, then menopur for 2 nights, then US and lab work a week from today. Yipee. I was hoping to do pure injectibles this month, but I have midterms to proctor for my classes next week and won't be able to cancel class.

Here's to a new cycle.

Fertility ball

So my newest fertility-boosting thing I am trying is the fertility ball. Actually, I cheated and bought a soft 3 pound weight ball as seen in the picture with my dog. He thinks that anything circular in shape is for him, so I'm going to have to hide it from him. I found it at Marshall's today for $3.99.

Yeah, the fertility ball. I'm sitting on it now because apparently, the pressure on the peritoneum strengthens the root chakra and will open up my qi. Which will increase my fertility. Apparently. There are other things I can do with this ball, too, for this. I sound snarky, but I am really going to give it a go.

I had my first facebook breakdown. I was looking at some pictures and noticed a friend standing next to someone I knew from grade school. She still talks to her, and apparently, this girl is pregnant with her first child. Why that bothered me I do not know, but I called up my friend and flat out asked her, "Is X pregnant?" and of course she replied "Yes." I flipped out, ranting about how the heck did she get pregnant, etc. Look, I am not proud of myself for this outburst, but it happened. Luckily this friend of mine is a really close friend and has gone through IF shit before, so she knew where I was coming from.

I am over it now. On to my ball, my positive thinking, and prayers for a good exam tomorrow.

Adios, BCP

I took my last BCP today. Yipee! I have my BW and US on Friday at 8:00 AM to see if my E2 is down and if the 17 mm cyst has vanished.

DH and I spoke at length about the next steps. We are going to go for it with IUI/injectibles this month, but if this next cycle is a bust, we are going to just stop and start a savings account for IVF. I will talk to the RE on Friday about this. I know she feels super confident that I should be getting knocked up with the IUI, but the truth is that it's getting expensive. If each IUI/injectible cycle costs $2000, why not forgo the next 3-5 and save for the IVF which has a much higher percentage of working. Part of me feels like this is me giving up, but I have to be smart. I want to start a family, but I don't want to go broke trying. I think the odds of me getting knocked up with IUI are 15-20 percent, and the odds with IVF are 50-60%.

This year, we've spent just shy of $5000 on TTC, and that includes the TCM. Yikes!

Oh, and my decision to purchase meds online is to NOT do it. I'm going to see if the RE's office is willing to donate some to me. If I live in Louisiana, and fertility coverage is not mandated by law for insurance companies, does that mean that no insurance company will pay? Are all the lovely ladies in my clinic paying cash? Yikes!

weird question to you all

Ok, I probably know the answer in my gut, but do you think it is safe to purchase fertility meds through other IFers via the web? The reason I am asking is because if I start thie new cycle, buying meds will put me out another $500. Based on the online postings, I can get the meds from others for over half the cost. I emailed a couple of people and they responded, but it feels weird because they have 5 or 6 boxes of one drug.

I know it's illegal to purchase prescriptions like this, but hand to hand, infertile to infertile, can't it just seem like a donation? Any thoughts on this? Anyone ever purchase hcg or the like from anohter infertile (or one posing to be one?)

update

I've been MIA for a week or so, mostly because I went out of town over the weekend, and since I've been back, I've been in the busyness of school. On the TTC front, I'm on the pill again, and I am thinking that the pill really sucks. I feel extra groggy in the morning and the past 24 hours, I've been dizzy. I don't feel like myself. I went to TCM yesterday, and she placed many needles in my back with electrode therapy. It didn't help, or maybe it did. Who knows. All I know is that I stop the pill on Tuesday and go in for monitoring a week from tomorrow. I can't wait.

On a funny or interesting or TMI note, we've been having birth-control-pill-sex. Ha! Come on gals, you remember the really fun sex that was in no way, shape, or form EVER intended to make a baby. HA! I'm trying to stay lighthearted about this whole IF thing, so why not spend some time, mentally, back in a place where things were so much simpler.

Happy Thursday!

CD ??/

So I went for monitoring on CD 3, and this cycle is a bust:

FSH 7.4
E2:156
Beta: negative (wow, they actually did a beta)

The doc put me on BC pills, and I am taking those for 2 weeks then going back for monitoring on June 18 at 8:00 AM. I spoke with the RE, and she looked at my stats from last cycle and said, "Gee, this all looks so great. You should be pregnant."

Yeah, I know. I had 4 large follies, and my estrogen was good and DH's boys were wonderful. No baby, though.

(sigh)