Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Sex Game (um, not what you think)

I hesitate to write this post for fear I will offend people. That is not my intention. However, I want to discuss people's obsession with the sex of my unborn baby. It might just be the infertile scars, but I don't care if this baby is a boy or a girl. I really don't. I just want it to be born alive. It's that simple.

So why is it that everyone, loved ones, co-workers, random people have to say shit like:

Person: Do you know what you are having?
Me: A baby.

Person: Are you hoping for a girl? That way you can have one of each.
Me: No, it really doesn't matter. I just want the baby to be alive.
Me, what I am thinking: One of each? You mean like a red sweater and a blue sweater? You know, one of each so I always have something to coordinate with my clothing?

Person: Don't you want another boy? Then they will have a playmate.
Me: No, it really doesn't matter. I just want the baby to be alive.
Me, what I am thinking: So, only brothers can be playmates? You mean a brother and a sister can't play together? Huh?

Person: Having another boy would make things so much easier for you.
Me: How?
Person: You already have all the boy stuff
Me: (OK, I can see this kinda, but....) True, but the birth dates are in different seasons. I'll need different clothing sizes for each season.

Person: I bet you want a girl so you can dress her up.
Me: (puzzled look on my face) Dress her up like what?
Person: You know, girly clothes.
Me: Oh, you mean like I did when I was a kid to my dollies?
Person: Yeah! (clearly overlooking or missing the sarcasm in my previous comment)
Me, what I am thinking: So my children are like toy babies that I play with and dress up? Is this what is is to raise a person? A person??

Person: I bet A really wants a brother.
Me: (silence)
Me, what I am thinking: A is one year old. He wants my attention at all times, he wants turkey and milk and any orange vegetable. He wants his binky when he is mad. He does not care about this pregnancy.

In no way am I saying that any of these utterances are wrong by any means. Yes, I am sure that people have preferences, but I simply cannot fathom why it matters. I have a very close relationship with my mother and father. Those relationships are very different, and I suppose that the relationships I create with my child(ren) will also be different. However, to want or desire one or the other is just not in my sight. Not right now. Maybe I will change. I do not know.

I do like to play "guess the sex" with pregnant friends and family and play on all those crazy gender predictors, but it doesn't make one iota of a difference in the end.

Or does it?