Thursday, September 15, 2011

back from my appointment

Today: 41w1d

Progress since last check-up: Nothing new. Almost at 2cm, but everything is still the same: -1 station, 60 percent effaced.

Induction is scheduled for Monday morning. I go in at 6AM. This pregnancy started off as a medical procedure, so I guess it will end as a medical procedure, too. She plans to start me off with cervidil, then pitocin. I will be on a constant monitor, which means I will be confined to within 6 feet of my monitor. No ability to get in the shower for water therapy or walk around other than around my bed. I fear the confinement will hinder my ability to control the pain without meds, which was my goal. I am disappointed in my body right now. That's all. I couldn't get knocked up on my own, and I can't have this baby on my own. Yeah, quit bitchin, right? At least I'm pregnant. I should be thankful, blah blah.

I know this, but at the same time, I cannot help but feel disappointed, and that's OK, too. I think it is fair to say that it's time to let go of the "ideal birth plan" I had for myself. So there. Poof! Gone.

On a side note, in about 8-12 hours, I am really going to regret the hella spicey buritto I ate for lunch today. In my last attempt at natural induction, I went all out on the spicey. For real. I loaded that thing up with habanero peppers, jalapeno peppers, chorizo, steak---oh so spicey I thought my lips were peeling off. You all might hear me screaming from the loo!

See you all on the other side! Wish me luck, as I plan to shut down the dr. google and obsession with the birth. I am off to enjoy the next 4 nights and 3 days sans work and responsibilities.

14 comments:

Alex said...

I know you must feel disappointed as this isn't exactly how you wanted this to go down, but I like you're attitude - release the birth plan! I'm so excited for you that you now have a birth date planned! Good luck on Monday, I'll be thinking of you. And see you on the other side!!!

Fairytale Ending said...

I know how you feel. My birth plan went out the window too, but in the end it won't be a big deal. I hope everything goes great and the spicy burrito doesn't do too much damage!

Jill said...

Baby still may come on its own! I hope so! But if not, I wish you a very safe birth experience (actually I wish that either way!). Good luck!

Kari said...

Aww hun I'm sorry. The induction isn't until Monday morning though. You've still got time. BUT I agree, enjoy these last few days and hopefully babe will decide to come when you least expect it!! I hope you're still able to have the birth you hope for. Good luck!!

And from someone who really, really, really, really, really x infinity didn't want to have any medication and wimped out at 9cm and got an epi...it's okay if your natural plan changes. Birth is a fluid experience and one you just don't know how it will play out until you're there. In the end when you're cuddling that beautiful, healthy babe how you got there won't matter. Sending you fabulous, healthy, beautiful labor vibes!!

Francie said...

Good luck!!! Sending lots of positive birth vibes your way.

Gurlee said...

So excited for you! Much luck and love and minimal pain to you! Can't wait to hear all about it.

Gurlee said...

So excited for you! Much luck and love and minimal pain to you! Can't wait to hear all about it.

Ashley said...

You could definitely go into labor before then! I will send all the water breaking vibes in to the universe that I can for you!

It is totally okay to feel disappointed that you may not get the birth experience that you wanted, regardless of whether you did IVF or not. It's okay to feel like that. Hugs! Hang in there!

Allison said...

GOOD LUCK!!!!!! Thinking the best thoughts for you!

It's hard when you envisioned things happening a certain way, but we've been through enough to know that we're not in control of, well, anything. Disappointing, but there it is. Regardless of how it happens, you'll still be a mom and it won't matter how your little one arrived.

And yes, step away from the Google and rest up. Will be thinking of you!

Kitty said...

Good call shutting down Dr. Google! The last thing you need right now is to be worrying over anything. I'm sorry your birth plan didn't work out, but remember the most important thing is that you and the baby are safe and healthy! I'll be thinking about you on Monday and hoping for an easy delivery :) Good luck!!!

uneggsplained said...

Hopefully your little one will still decide to come on its own... but if not I hope that Monday goes well. I will be thinking of you.... best of luck!

sonja said...

Praying for you and thinking of you!! Best of luck on Monday! *hugs*

Allison said...

Thinking about you today!! Good luck, Momma!!

Roccie said...

Ack it is Mondday!!! I was saving your post until I had some time to come up with a long and inspiring post and dag GONE it I missed my date and I realize I am far from inspiring!

I know you will have some time on your hands today. I sure hope this msg finds you and put a big old smile on your face.

This.

Is.

It.

Have a magnificent time and ohmylaw the goose bumps I have for you right now! I send all of my very best that your birth plan comes to be despite the changes you have had to make to it already.

Welcome Little One! Oh how we have waited for you.