Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Yes, I've been hiding

with nothing good to report. I had a major meltdown on Sunday when it became clear that AF was on her way. I mean major meltdown, like throw away all fertility goodies including CBE monitor, strips, preg tests, pre-seed, you name it. And DH got wind of this and tried to stop me, telling me that I was just PMSing. Oh lordy, wrong thing to say because it wasn't that; it was pure and utter sadness, disappointment, hopelessness. I am not sure exactly what this all means (my freak out- blow up and all), but I am truly truly exhausted and tired of TTC running my every thought. So I might be MIA for awhile, but I promise to try to keep lurking, reading, and commenting. Sometimes it's all too much, ya know?

8 comments:

Tanya said...

Sorry CJ, I was really hoping this was your C. I had a similar meltdown this weekend too just as AF showed up the night before DH's Bday, and I will be slowing down too..

addingtothepack said...

I'm sorry. Take care of yourself.

MK said...

I know. :(

tishi said...

well, I hope to hear from you soon, I find blogging really helps me with days/weeks/months like this. This TTC thing is SO hard, take the time you need, have the freak outs you need....we will be here waiting for you when your ready!

Circus Princess said...

BIG HUGS to you!! Sometimes it's just too much and it's hard to find a way to deal with your sadness and disappointment. Take your time, we'll be here when you need us :)

Allison said...

Amen, lady. A-MEN. It's so hard and unfair and shitty.

I, uh, hope you didn't really throw out all that stuff... it'll be expensive to replace, yes?

Anyway, you're not alone. Will keep you in my thoughts. ((hugs))

MK said...

I gave you an award on my blog.:)

WannabeMommy said...

boy do I know.