Tuesday, February 15, 2011

No clear answers yet

I want to thank you all for your supportive comments during this rough time. My pregnancy happiness and surprise became overshadowed by the results of the 8 week ultrasound. At that US, one twin was bigger than the other (by almost a week), and they share the same sac and placenta. I think the term is monoamniotic, which is bad bad. The heartbeats for both twins were low for an 8 week ultrasound. The singleton seemed to be right on track, though.

I am extremely thankful for getting pregnant, and much like any infertile, extremely terrified about losing it all. I was fortunate to have both embryos implant on my first IVF try, and surprised, shocked, and elated to find out that two actually meant three.

But since this is all out of my control, I chose to let things just be. I have my first maternal fetal appointment next Tuesday. I will be 12 weeks then. I will find out what's going on with the babies, if they are all surviving inside my crazy body, and what the next trimester looks like for me. This has been an extremely hard 3 weeks for DH and me, but it has been a test of patience, love, and letting go.

I am pretty sure I am still pregnant, though. I have a pretty awful puking session every morning, and I am tired and hungry all the time, so that's good. I've gained maybe 4 pounds, and I am not really showing. I think I am still preggo, but based on the slight change in my body, I am thinking it isn't with 3 anymore.

I'll post some more when I have news next week. Thanks for sticking by me.

15 comments:

runnyyolk said...

Oh hun, I'm so sorry things aren't going well, but relieved to hear you are still pregnant. Sending you all my healthy baby vibes and hoping it works out okay. Lots of hugs.

elephantscanremember said...

(hugs)

Allison said...

HUGE (((((((HUGS))))))) Been thinking about you and prayin' for you, sweetie. Keep on hangin' in there.

Kari said...

((((BIG HUGS)))) I'm sorry that the joy is being mixed with uncertainty right now. I've been thinking of you and hoping things were going well. Take good care of yourself and your DH and those babies. Sending you strength and positive thoughts.

My Infertile Confessions said...

So glad your back and hangin in there! I am so sorry for all you are going through, it makes my little weight gain incident with my doc seem like nothing in comparison!

Praying for you and your babies!

Alex said...

Oh wow - this has to be so incredibly difficult. I'm very impressed with your attempt at letting go. You're right, it's completely out of your control, isn't it?

I've been thinking about you - you were my IVF buddy! - and I've been hoping things were going as well as could be. Crossing my fingers that things will be ok next week. And we'll always be by your side! Sending you a hug...

Gurlee said...

I have been thinking a lot of you and meaning to get something in the mail for you for my sincere thanks. I can't believe I haven't said thank you yet, I looked for an email and didn't find one and figured i would snail mail you a little surprise.... It will come, I promise! I have been so scattered with monitoring visits every other day out of state. My appologies and again, THANK YOU!
As for those babies, I am hoping for the very best. Take good care of yourself. I pray for good news for you next week!
Xoxo

tishi said...

Sending hope and hugs your way, I can't imagine how hard these 3 weeks must have been but I am happy to hear you are able to let go a little, knowing when to give up control is not an easy task!

HopeBPatient said...

Thanks so much for coming back to update us. I was wondering how you were doing. I'm so sorry that things are uncertain. I know it must be incredibly hard to 'let go' but it's great that you are attempting it, because you're absolutely right: there is nothing you can do now to change how things will turn out. Thinking of you and hoping that things work out.

Kim said...

My prayers are with you and the little ones. Letting go must be so hard, but we know, that's the only answer, otherwise we will drive ourselves bonkers. Hoping all goes well at your appointment. xoxoxoxoxox

erika said...

Oh! Sweetie:( I am so sorry you guys have been in this limbo. Will keep you in my prayers and thoughts and hoping the next appointment will bring you some re-assuring news. Good news, and some much needed relief.
Much love your ways!

Jill said...

So sorry to hear this time has been so stressful. I wish the best for all of you!

Circus Princess said...

Thinking about you and wishing for nothing but good news! Hugs and kisses!

uneggsplained said...

I am so sorry that this time has been such an intense struggle. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am really hoping for the best for you and your family. Wish I could say something to make it all better-I can only imagine the million different emotions that you and your hubby are experiencing.
Take extra care of yourself.

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry for all this craziness. Sending you lots of good thoughts! Hang in there!