update and miscellany

Just thought I'd offer up an update since I've been a bad blogger. In bulletpoints for brevity:
--I think I am finally feeling the baby move. All these blogs and everyone discussing their baby's movement made me feel like a doof for not knowing/feeling it. But now I am pretty sure since the bubbly, popping sensation in my belly area is not followed by any noxious odors or loud sounds from my bottom end.
--I was sick to no end from mornng sickness, and no matter what I read or what remedies people offered me, nothing worked. Now as far as this heartburn issue goes, I have found the cure and it's better than popping tums all day (which doesn't work, btw): green apples! A friend of my hubs has acid reflux, and he swears by eating granny smith apples to cure the heartburn. I've been eating them about 2-3 times a day and have had NO heartburn since. Miracle!
--I've gained 10 pounds total so far and I am 21 weeks on Wednesday. Is that enough? I hope so. I'm definitely showing, but maternity pants are too big still, so I am relying on the bella band to hold up the ones I that are still working.
--boobs! I've got boobs! I tried to explain this feeling I am having about my body to my husband, and the only thing I could say is that these boobs aren't mine. I told him to imagine that his penis doubled or tripled in size and stayed that way for a few months. This is a new experience for me since I have always been a tiny 32b. Now they touch my belly when I sit, and I am wearing sweet strapless cute dresses! Yomma!
--exercise: still walking on a regular basis. I've kinda been doing some jogging segments in the midst of walking. I can't help it! I miss running so much, but I stop as soon as I feel weird. What is weird is that sometimes I feel pressure on my bladder so I stop.
--sex: we tried it last night for the first time in a while. I hope it gets better. I think we are both scared something bad will happen, so the actual act is awkward.
--Two weeks from tomorrow I am on vacation for a few weeks until the summer session begins. I can't wait!

Blogger friend in need of support

Hey all..if you can, please stop by Joyous Birdie . She is in need of some comments and support. After finally getting pregnant with donor eggs, she's received some bad news around 19 weeks of pregnancy. Virtual hugs and prayers are needed.

Infertility in the Media

Hey all--I want to alert you to one of my favorite publications, and a bit of a write up on Infertilty blogs. The spring issue of Bitch magazine is out, and on p. 35, it discusses infertitility blogs, metioning of course Stirrip Queens. Bitch magazine can be found here. Go subscribe.

Back from the ultrasound

Everything looks fine. Bebe's OK, and the MFM doc said the quad screen was of no use because of this pregnancy's circumstances. Here's an example of the patient knowing more than the doc. I guess it is not up to the OB to know all this stuff, but still, it caused a bit of unnecessary worry.

The excellent news is I got to see the bebe! Measuring perfect and totally adorable. We left with some awesome shots, and one looks just like DH from the profile, cheeks and all. I love it!

I did break down like a ninny during the scan. The tech spent what seemed like minutes looking at the two that died, and I got very very sad. I didn't expect to see them. I figured they'd be the "paper babies" that the other doc said they would be. Nope. They were still there, floating around, at the last size they were when they died. It was very sad. The MFM doc said I might see them when I deliver, but they'd be hard to distinguish. If they come out and I can, I would like a proper burial of them, not just tossed in some medical waste.

So, I am not going to do amnio at this point. The doc saw nothing to suggest any visible abnormalities, so we are living with the normal percentage that something could be wrong. I can handle that.

Alright, now I am off to take a much needed nap. Thanks for following along on this journey with me.

Scan tomorrow

I went to bed last night feeling calmer about the whole situation. A fellow blogger was kind enough to consult Dr. Google, and she found an article that might be related to my situation, and yes, two dead fetuses can contribute to a high AF.P level.

Nevertheless, the gods were good to me. I got a call from the MFM place and they moved me to tomorrow at 1:00pm for the scan. I had to cancel two classes, and DH will have to leave work for a bit, but we'll be there for 1:00 and will hopefully get some answers.

I used the baby doppler about 3 times yesterday. I was a bit of a wreck when I got home yesterday afternoon, so hearing the beating heart kept reassuring me that this little bebe is ours no matter what. My pup was also right at my heels yesterday, comforting me. I know it may sound strange, but I swear this dog just gets me.

Normal my F$#*&% ass

I did not want this fucking quad screen because of this very thing: my doctor called this morning and left me three messages--one on my cell, one at home, and one at work! Turns out the AF.P levels are high, but all the rest are fine. FUCK! Inside I have a feeling that these levels are high because I had three fetuses growing. I have googled the piss out of it, and all I can confirm is that in twin, triplet, and quad pregnancies, AF.P levels ARE higher because of the multiple fetus thing. However, Dr. Google has no information about whether or not two dead fetuses plus one live one =equals= high AF.P. FUCK! Of course I can't get the MFM anatomy scan any sooner than next Thursday. FUCK. You know, I don't think I am strong enough to take this right now. Oh, high AFP levels usually detect neural tube defects. FUCK!

reporting from normal-ville

• Not much to report here. I reach the 18 week mark Wednesday, which is pretty exciting. I am starting to look pregnant now. I've gained a total of 8 pounds, which the doc says is normal. I did go shopping at one of the major maternity stores, and when I tried on the 7 month belly, I freaked out. Seeing myself in the mirror was quite shocking. I think it must have been just the vision of me pregnant that shocked me most. Sometimes I still can't believe it's happening.

• I go for my anatomy scan ultrasound next week. I am excited to see the bebe again, although I hope and pray there are no revealing shots shown to me, as I do not wish to know the sex of the baby. My doc took blood from me last week at my appointment to do a quad screen, which I told her I was told the results wouldn't be accurate since this started as a triplet pregnancy. She seemed confused about this, but I still gave blood. She also seemed to think I should get an amnio. I don't want one. I think my uterus has been through enough in the past 18 weeks; let's just give it a rest until it has to do its thing in August or September. I don't want some doc poking a hole in it right now. Other than being 36, there are no mitigating factors that would suggest I get one.

• I've got 4 weeks of classes left, then a small break before summer school. I am teaching this summer. I thought I might take it off, and I would have for sure if there were still 3, but since I am "normal," I might as well work this summer. The extra money is nice anyway. However, I got my schedule for the fall, and it was weird to think that I will open the semester, teach a few weeks, give birth, then someone will take over my teaching load until I return (2 weeks? 4 weeks? 6 weeks? whatever). I do not get maternity leave per se, but I can take my sick time and get paid while using FMLA. I know some companies and states have their own laws, but I work for the state, a pretty poor state, and there is no mandated maternity leave for teachers. What is the best state to get pregnant and/or have a baby? I am curious to know.

• I am very fortunate that both DH and I have jobs that are flexible in our schedules. According to our plans, we will not need daycare, and this child will be parented by one of us full-time. Is it possible to be a stay-at-home unit when both parents work? I think it is. Because, what does it mean to be stay at home? Here's our plan:

I am out of the house from 7-12 MWF and 8-10 T/H to teach and do office hours, and DH parents the child. I get home and he goes to work: he'll work his hours ( he's the boss/chef at a restaurant) when it's best. I know this is all plans on paper, but it looks pretty awesome. We'll see how the plan is played out.