Birth Story, part II

OK. I'm back.

The next couple of hours are somewhat of a blur, but the gist of it all was that I went from 7cm to 9.5 in about 2 hours. In that two hours, bebe's heart rate dropped and I had to be moved from the left side, then the right side a few times. The nurse and doc were very calm, but I think it was a little bit of a scary situation. While they were moving me and monitoring me, I went inside completely and breathed calmly. I knew if this might mean emergency C section if the rate didn't recover. Luckily it did, and when the doc checked me at 9.5 cm, things around the room got crazy busy. Next thing I know DH was holding one of my legs, the nurse was holding the other, and I was told to start pushing. The eipdural made me feel like I was a water balloon, and I tried to push using the lessons I learned from yoga, but I couldn't feel anything. The doctor said to act like I am doing crunches--those are the muscles I need to push. Man, that made total sense. So with each contraction, I clenched my stomach as though I were doing intense crunches, and I watched as he slowly emerged. I was watching in the mirror and saw that he had hair!! I was a bit winded, so they gave me an O2 mask which made me feel closed in, so I used it sparingly.

TMI, but let me tell you, birthing is not pretty. Things were coming out of all ends at this point. Plus, I was shivering and shaking (probably due to epi, but who knows), I was nauseous and thought I was going to hurl about 5 times.

Anyway, somewhere near the end, I'd say about 4 contractions before he was born, I felt the mood of the room get panicky. His heartrate decelerated big time (Dh told me this all later), so the nurse, DH, and the doc were all telling me to push push push. I again went inside myself and just focused on the pushing and was no longer looking at the mirror. Something came over me. It was a sense of urgency that I was either picking up from the room and from my gut, but things had to happen fast. All I can tell you is that I pushed with everything I had, and the next thing I remember is DH getting close to my face, tearing up, telling me it was a boy. I opened my eyes and looked at the doc who was suctioning out his little mouth. He was screaming so loud! He was gurlgling and screaming and my body was shaking and shivering. Doc put him on my chest and he just smelled so perfect. His mouth was so close to mine and he was so loud and pissed!!! He looked big to me--I don't know what I expected, but he was solid as a rock. I just kep telling him "hello" and "I love you." I couldn't believe this was happening. What I felt was pure euphoria and bliss, a kind of happiness I have never experienced. Probably the lack of O2, exhaustion, hormones, etc. It was the biggest high of my life, and I'll never forget that moment.

Dh later told me that his HR dropped, and the doctor and nurse were anxious and said they needed to get this baby out. It turned out that the cord was wrapped around his neck, and when the doctor was able to pull him out (ouch! No wonder I had a 2nd degree tear), she slipped the cord over his neck and he was fine. He said that there was panic in the room, but they were careful not to let me know. I told him I sensed the panic, but I didn't know for sure.

Now, two weeks into this mommy role, and I have to say, at least 100 times a day I look at him and think, "Is this real?"