I just returned from my beta blood draw. It won't be back for a few more hours. I tested yesterday afternoon and it was stark white (internet cheapies), so I am pretty confident this cycle is also a bust. I spent yesterday pretty much a blubbering mess and was super pissy at DH for being somewhat insensitive. Ugh.
I will be getting the dreaded phone call sometime in the next few hours. I instructed the nurse to just leave it on my voice mail, as I will be unavailable from 10-12 for commencement ceremonies.
Gah! I felt (still feel) an enormous amount of sadness to be on the BFN end of now two IVF FET cycles, but even more sadness for those women who do multiple IVFs and FETs without ever seeing a BFP. I didn't really know what this type of sadness is/was until recently, and wow, it hurts.
And as everyone is so (annoyingly at times) insistent on telling me is that I have my two boys, (yes, I know this), it doesn't make the losses, the BFNs, any better. I wanted to grow my family, and I fucking cannot.