My baby's got the beat

Let me just begin by telling you that this crazy "normal" infertile decided to spend the $19 per month to get the fetal doppler from baby beat. I haven't been too nutso with it since I got it, but it completely comforts me to hear the lovely sound every once in a while. I stopped puking, so then I started freaking out that I lost it, etc. Duh, I know.

My next big appointment is April 14 for the anatomy scan ultrasound. I will be 19 weeks by then (yikes!!!). We do not want to know the sex, so hopefully there will be no revealing pictures or idiot techs that accidentally tell us.

I told a few more people this weekend at a bridal party/bachelorette-ish gathering Friday night. I didn't say anything until the end, and I am surprised that no one asked since I was on the water train all night long. These gals were happy for us and for me, and you know what, I am beginning to allow myself to be happier about this. I am still silently frightened this will all go away, and I hope that feeling fades away soon.

2nd Trimester

I think I am officially in the 2nd trimester now. Wednesday will be 14 weeks, and at my first OB appointment last Thursday, she said, "You're just a normal pregnant woman now."

Inspite of all this IF
Inspite of all this IVF
Inspite of all these surprises

I got to hear the baby's heartbeat, but I was expecting an US. The doctor (who I love and has been my OB for 3 years) runs a solo practice, and she does not have a fancy schmancy office. In fact, she has 4 chairs in the waiting room. Yup. No big practicing clinic here, and that has both good and bad. The good is that I have never waited for an appointment. If I am scheduled at 3:00, I get in a 3:00. She is also 100 percent going to be the one delivering the bebe, which is comforting to know that she is my one and only.

The downsides of this is that she does not have all the crazy new technology that other docs have. For my 18 week US, I will go see a MFM who will do the body scan, not her. Also, she does not allow water births, which was something I really wanted to do. She is all for the au natural, but there are limits. When I got home from the appointment, I google searched local docs who are water birth friendly, and they all have the crazy large many doctor practicing office, and the message boards postings complained about how long they always have to wait to be seen. My idea of a water birth can take a back seat for this baby. I hate waiting rooms!!!

So basically, I go see her again in 4 weeks. 4 weeks! She told me that I have to wean myself from ultrasounds now that I am "normal." I did get to hear the hearbeat on the doppler, and now I think I might go out and buy a doppler for home. I dunno.

So, yeah. That's all. I guess this is what it must be like to be a normal fertile, where babymaking and all that jazz is just a regular thing. I am going to have to wean myself from myself and just learn to chill.

We started telling people, and people are excited. It has mostly been close friends and family. I still can't quite figure out how to tell others. This whole experience with IF and IVF has been such a private struggle, it seems fitting that the pregnancy be the same, too. I am afraid to tell people. Is that weird? I was a closer IFer; does that mean I will be a closet pregger?

Still throwing up in the morning, although it isn't the deep hurl anymore. It's more of a surface puke, like top of the stomach. For the most part, all my vomiting sessions have been pretty awful. I puke this enormous amount of blah and I am even peeing my pants when I do. I know, TMI, but nobody ever said I'd pee myself when I puke from morning sickness. Someone, please tell me that has happened to you? I confided in a friend and she muttered something about my kegels. Ahem, my kegels are strong, so that's not it. Well, at least that seems to have stopped.

Alrighty then. This post is sufficiently long enough.

Crinone anyone?

I wanted to share this link with you. A fellow blogger and future mother has a gift for whomever is in need. Pease see her here.

One beautiful baby karate kicking

This was the result of my appointment with a MFM doc: "You don't need to see us again."

I have one beautiful baby measuring ahead of schedule by about 3 days at 12w2d. The twins died, and based on their size, but it was hard for him to tell since the lab reports from the RE had two different measurements and he didn't know which was B or C.

I asked why I didn't bleed or anything, and he said that the body just absorbs it. I find that very interesting.

I made an appointment with my regular OB for a week from Friday.

So, I am pregnant, officially and truly pregnant, and I am happy. The baby has a bladder, a strong heartbeat that I got to hear, legs, arms, and the nuchal fold was 1.12 mm, which is good and puts me in the low risk category.

Ladies, I am pregnant!

No clear answers yet

I want to thank you all for your supportive comments during this rough time. My pregnancy happiness and surprise became overshadowed by the results of the 8 week ultrasound. At that US, one twin was bigger than the other (by almost a week), and they share the same sac and placenta. I think the term is monoamniotic, which is bad bad. The heartbeats for both twins were low for an 8 week ultrasound. The singleton seemed to be right on track, though.

I am extremely thankful for getting pregnant, and much like any infertile, extremely terrified about losing it all. I was fortunate to have both embryos implant on my first IVF try, and surprised, shocked, and elated to find out that two actually meant three.

But since this is all out of my control, I chose to let things just be. I have my first maternal fetal appointment next Tuesday. I will be 12 weeks then. I will find out what's going on with the babies, if they are all surviving inside my crazy body, and what the next trimester looks like for me. This has been an extremely hard 3 weeks for DH and me, but it has been a test of patience, love, and letting go.

I am pretty sure I am still pregnant, though. I have a pretty awful puking session every morning, and I am tired and hungry all the time, so that's good. I've gained maybe 4 pounds, and I am not really showing. I think I am still preggo, but based on the slight change in my body, I am thinking it isn't with 3 anymore.

I'll post some more when I have news next week. Thanks for sticking by me.

In hiding, will return soon

I am having a bit of a hard time with this whole pregnancy thing. I am planning to disappear from here for a bit (no posting, but I plan to read blogs on occasion). I am pretty much feeling like crap with morning sickness and nerves. Heartbeats are good and bad. I just need to step back for a minute and hold my breath until week 12 or 13 when I am feeling safe. It's too much for me right now. Thanks for understanding. I just gotta put down the computer, stay off google, and quit stressing.

ICLW Post

Welcome ICLW people. I am newly preggo (7w3d) with triplets via IVF: one singleton and one set of identical twins. My DH and I have been ttc for over 3 years (or has it been 4?) so we are very excited to have had success with our very first IVF try, although we are still a bit freaked out about what will be with the three.

And I must say, Crinone sucks! It's easier than PIO shotss, but absolute YUK!

Thanks for stopping by.