CD2, on to round 2

Yesterday, AF arrived. I'm calling the office tomorrow to schedule monitoring for medicated cycle 2. Thanks all for the support this month. The disappointment was tough, but you all just rocked.

CD29, 16dpiui, still waiting

Yes, I know the first question is did I test again? The answer is no because I've only got one left and I refuse to buy any more this month. argh! I probably test again tomorrow. My spotting stopped yesterday. We even FD yesterday and no spotting. WTF? I should get AF today or tomorrow. If not, I'm testing again.

CD28, 15 dpiui, waiting for AF

I took the test yesterday morning and got a BFN, so I guess now I wait for AF. I'm ok with it, though. Whatever. We plan to try again ASAP, so bring it on, AF.

CD 26, 13dpiui

Yesterday, the RE's office told me to do a test on Thursday, and if it is negative, then I should stop the progesterone and wait for my period. Just like that, I guess. I thought I'd be getting blood tests at 14 dpiui, but oh well. In spite of what all you are telling me, I am pretty confident that this cycle is a bust. When I was cleaning the bathroom last night, I started crying. The kind of tears that bring you to your knees and to the floor, the kind where it feels like you'll never get up, the kind that brings the dog to the threshold of the room, waiting to see if you are OK. It was a good cry, and although my eyes are really puffy today, I feel relieved and calm.

I just got back from the park with my pup. We ran 2 miles, and I was able to find a quiet spot to do some sun salutations while he dried off (I wet him down with the hose since it's so hot out). I got a good run and a good sweat out of me, and I feel pretty darn good. I'm spotting more today than yesterday, and if my timing is correct, I should see AF Friday or Saturday.

Thanks for your support and for reading. IF sucks.

CD 25, 12dpiui, negative, positive, negative

POAS= BFN

Call in to the RE to ask/schedule a bloodtest=yeah!

very very very light spotting=blah

more later...

CD 24, Joke

How can you spot an Infertile at the drugstore?

She's the one buying triple-pack pregnancy tests AND tampons & maxipads.

*******
I ran out to buy sticks. I'm testing tomorrow. Oh lawd!

CD 24, 11 dpiui

I'm back, and I completely forgot I signed up for ICLW this month. Looks like I've got a lot of catching up to do!! I promise that will be my goal tonight. Thanks to those who posted.

Not much happening here. I had to leave early for my trip (family emergency), so I couldn't get my progesterone blood drawn last Thursday. The doc put me on prometr.ium anyway just to be safe. Ever since my TCM, I've had no PMS signs, but yesterday and today my breasts hurt, and I was nauseous yesterday afternoon. Hmm...yes, being away from civilization has been good for the 2WW, but now that I am on the progesterone, will my period just come or will I have to stop taking it if I am not PG? I've got to call the doc tomorrow to find out the plan. Am I suppose to POAS? Help! I don't want to if it is too early. I don't want to at all, frankly, because I just don't think I can handle another BFN.

Oh ladies, much to stress about, but right now I want to play with my pups since I haven't seen him in 5 days. I'll post later.

CD 19, 6 dpiui, and tired and...

Today I am tired, but yesterday I was nauseous to the point I dry-heaved over the toilet for about 5 minutes in the afternoon. Hmmm...

I have to drive up to the country this Friday and will not be back home until late Tuesday, so the blog might be quiet since there is little internet availability. Oh how I hope this all works...

CD 18, 5 dpiui: shitake, sweet potatoes, black beans, and eggs

No news here other than my TCM diagnosis today was that my yin (or was it yang) radial pulse is weak, and the yin (again, or was it yang) is what controls the growing and nurturing in the uterus. She told me to beef up on shitakes, sweet potatoes, black beans, ad eggs, but cook them is a stew-like way so they aren't dried out. Hmm...I'm unsure of a recipe that would call for all four of those ingredients, but I am sure going to try.

I have also been instructed to take it easy; no excessive exercise or movement which is perfect right now as I am on vacation. Yes, I am thinking of the positive, but there is such a part of me that is afraid to be optimistic.

CD 16, 3 dpiui

Ha! See my post title? I have a new "thing" to title each and every day, and that is the days post IUI. How did I know this? Well, of course I have been on the internet, googling the heck out of post iui symptoms, looking for success stories. I even did a comparison chart on fertilit.y frien.d looking for some good news. Oh, and BTW, fertility friend is counting my cycles, and this is my 32nd cycle, but that is kind of a lie because I started using FF in April 2007 and did not chart every month. I think it's more like 36 or 37 cycles! Yikes. Does this mean I am on my golden cycle (like golden birthdays)? If it is cycle 35 then I am. Yikes. This IUI better work.

Anywhoo, no "symptoms" here 3 dpiui. I am avoiding any strenuous activity (including running) which sucks but I want to make sure I don't screw anything up. I am officially on vacation from school until June 3, so I've been glued to the TV. They have direc.t TV here and let me tell you, I will never ever get cable TV in my future home. It's crack to me, frankly. I can't turn off the TV. I've been watching too many episodes of birth stories, even one titled, "pregnant and paralyzed" or something like that. Geesh.

Well, hopefully I'll get some fresh air tomorrow since DH is off work. I am not sure what's on the agenda, but hopefully it includes some sunshine.

CD 14, hey, there's a mouse in my house

The cramping finally stopped last night about 9 PM, and today I feel 100 percent normal. I had acupuncture this morning to help with this process. I was told to cut out the caffeine completely (sad face inserted here) and to be strict about the blood stagnation diet I am on. Check and check. When I got home, I spent a good amount of time in Supta Baddha Konasana which is supposed to help with the energy levels in that area. I have such tight hips; even after 10+ years of yoga, my hips are so uncooperative. While I was enjoying the pose, I noticed a fat little mouse scurrying along the floor! Yikes! This place has mice!!! I hate hate hate rodents, pests, etc. in my living space. Gross. Anyway, I am practicing happy pregnant thoughts. Happy, positive, non-violent thoughts, so the desire to get rid of the mouse will have to wait until my 2WW is over.

CD 13, all loaded up

I just got back from the IUI. DH's sperm count was 129.5 pre-wash and 22.5 million post wash, 86% motility. I guess these numbers are really good (rated 3.5 out of 4). I called DH to tell him and he was quite happy.

I started feeling ovulation-cramping yesterday afternoon and evening and I had a bit of trouble sleeping (although I am not sure if it was from the diet coke I drank at 8:30--shame on me!). Also a weird thing I noticed was some dark blue veins along my hip bone and skin by where I think would be my ovaries. DH said I looked 'roided up.

So I am off to think of happy swimming and a happy meet and greet up in the ol' uterus. I go for a progesterone test in 7 days and then I just wait.

This is a 2 week wait that I have waited a long time for. Happy Thursday, all.

****update*****
what's up with these uterine cramps? how long is this going to last?

CD11, trigger tonight

I just got back from my US and labwork. I took to the meds very well. I have three dominant follies (two on my left and one on the right!) and my lining looks great (graded 12A, which I guess is really really good).

Here's the kicker...DH and I were instructed to have sex last night because I was getting a post-coital test today, and when Dr. S went to get the sample of semen and CM near my cervix, I had NONE! Did you hear that? Not a drop. I was bone dry. Could this have been the problem all along?

So I trigger tonight at midnight, then IUI at 12:30 PM Thursday. I am so very excited. I know this is not a for-sure way to get knocked up, but I feel like I am one step closer to a BFP. Wow. Just wow.

CD8, menopur shot 1, club soda

So I am preparing for my first shot of meno.pur. I am doing it solo since DH has to work late tonight. I'm not too freaked out; instead, I am actually excited. I've laid out the first round and reviewed the instructions several times. In fact, there are several you.tube clips from gals who showed exactly how to do it with pointers and tips.

Where would us IFers be without the internet?

On another note, we just moved to a new part of the city since we sold our condo. My dilemma? It seems that there is some unspoken rule about where people are allowed to park, i.e. parking is only allowed in front of YOUR house and no one else's. Huh? WTF? We are subletting a house for a lot of money per month, so I feel like I should be able to park just about anywhere I want. This is an urban environment with city streets, parallel parking, etc., and since we have two cars, we can't ever park where the next open spot is? I remember this rule when I lived in Chicago, and those who shoveled out their parking spot sometimes put chairs in it to "reserve" it. I guess I can get that, although I never ever ever reserved parking for myself.

The kicker? In front of MY rental house is reserved handicap parking!!!!!!!! So that means I can't park there because I don't have a handicap sticker! So DH and I can't park anywhere. Trust me, I already tried and had old man crazy yelling at me. This is absolutely insane that people are so territorial. I just don't get it.

Thanks for listening to me vent. We only have a two month lease, so it is very very short term. I am trying not to be so negative and bitchy, especially since I am trying to grow my follies and I need positive energy! Ah!!!!!

Oh, and I find that drinking club soda makes me happy, so a drinking it I go.

observation

How cool is it that my cycle day one was May 1? I mean, heck, I don't have to do much thinking about what CD I am on! I don't think this has ever happened before. Why am I so excited?

CD 7, pizza: where are you?

Tonight is my last night of popping the clo.mid and then Saturday starts the injections. Yipee! DH is actually really excited about this whole thing. When this IF crap first began, he just checked out and was on the fence about the whole weird thing. I guess he realized that he really does want a family, and I couldn't be happier with his attitude lately. Wow. Just wow.

Friday night plans? Pizza is on its way, and this house we are subletting has excellent cable, so I plan to channel surf all night long while my students' papers stare at me from the desk.

CD 6, all clear

Just a quick update since I am in the throes of moving...

Woke up yesterday and today feeling normal, so whatever side effects I felt with the clo.mid are done. I did have two cavities filled yesterday (my very first cavities at the age of 35), and it didn't hurt a bit! Hooray for me!

CD 4, did somebody spike my sushi roll?

I took my first dose of clo.mid last night (100 mg) and wheeeeeeeeeew...

I slept kinda badly, but the most suckiest part was feeling dizzy this morning. It didn't shake until mid morning and then I felt like I was stoned but not in a good way (ahem, not that I know what that feels like). I know that these fertility meds are supposed to trick your brain into thinking it's in menopause, but if this is what menopause feels like, I don't ever want to say bye to AF. I was a complete idiot today. I forgot my phone, my planner, my lunch--heck! I am surprised I made it to TCM for my evening acupuncture.

And no amount of water will satisfy this thirst I have.

So I am off to yoga for some centering and sweating. Here's to a medicated cycle! Cheers!

It's on, baby

My US results are fine, and the bloodwork came back with my FSH at 7.4 ad E2 at 86. Time for meds!!!

I pick up the clo.mid later this evening and take 100 mg for five nights, then I inject myself with meno.pur for three nights. Then lab work and US and then trigger. It's really happening!!!!

So I know I am always harping on the money thing, so here goes: Although I only need 3 vials of meno.pur, I have to buy 5 at $60 a pop. Then I have to pay for the trigger shot and the suppression shot for a grand total of $600 bucks just for the meds (not including clo.mid). Plus the fee for the doc is $850 without IUI. Are you counting this up? Cause it sounds like it is going to be closer to $2000 than $1000 which will be no problem since I am getting knocked up this cycle. hahaha But really it comes down to chance. I happen to live in a state that thinks highly of "family values" but does not mandate insurance to cover fertility treatments. If I lived in Massachusetts or Illinois, I'd be golden.

I am fortunate to be able to pay cash for this cycle. Others can't and then won't pursue this treatment and that just sucks.

Come on ovaries! You can do it!

on my way

In less than an hour,I will be getting CD 3 bloodwork/US to see if my body is prepared for a medicated cycle/IUI. I have been really working with my TCM to rid myself of the ovarian cysts this past month. I feel pretty confident that I am ready to rock and roll. AF came on Saturday and was pretty darn heavy and clotty but with barely any cramps! I interpreted this as a uterine and ovarian exfoliation.

Fingers crossed. Hopefully I'll be popping some clomi.d tonight!