Friday, October 9, 2009

It's officially official

I've been told that I need to see an RE.

At my visit to the OB, oh, about 30 minutes ago, the doc read my HSG report which basically translates that I've got the one bad tube, one that kinda opened and leaked dye, and reports of fibroids. She said it'll take IVF to increase my chances conconceiving.

IVF.

Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be that upset. It has just been a long 2plus years trying on our own: the charting, the temping, the timed intercourse (not fun, sometimes), the stress, the fights, the "tame" lifestyle-just-in-case-I-got-knocked-up-this-time.

If I can offer any advice to anyone out there TTC, get the info sooner than later. I don't know if the heartache would have been less had I known last year instead of now, but what I do know is that much of what life should be about has taken a back seat to the TTC madness. Maybe I should just live life for a while--stay out later, get drunk again, eat shitty foods again, start shopping again for cute clothes and pay top dollar (because I won't be preggo anytime soon so I will fit into that outfit!!), plan vacations months in advance (because I won't be preggo anytime soon so I will be able to wear a bikini, drink margaritas on the beach).

5 comments:

Circus Princess said...

I'm sorry you got bad news but I'm happy you got some explanation. Getting that damned BFN every month is just so frustrating. I'm two days into embarking on our first IVF (and my first fertility treatment ever) and I'm actually super excited :-)

Big hug to you and go out and get sloshed at least once before you decide what to do next!

Dot said...

I am sorry that you didn't get the news that you thought it might be. It is hard no matter what. My hearts breaks for you.

Life will always take a backseat when it comes to ttc. No matter it you are just starting out or if you have been into for years. I put ALOT and I mean ALOT of things on hold. Not anymore...

Go out, have fun, relax..tommorrow will be a better day !

Jill said...

I'm sorry that you have learned it will not be possible on your own. It's the loss of something that most people take for granted, and you deserve to mourn it. But I think your 'going out' plans sound like a well-deserved break from ttc!

A said...

I didn't exactly have that diagnosis, but I know when my ob/gyn told me that it was time for me to see the RE, I did not go skipping there. It is a tough jump to make, especially when most of us never expected to have an issue with this reproduction thing anyway! It does take a paradigm shift, but hopefully you'll see an RE who is compassionate and willing to treat you according to your specific needs and wants!

Lookingforaplussign said...

Thanks, all. I don't know what I would have done without this blog today. I managed to suck it up at work but couldn't wait to get home to vent and read.