This post is in response to "Obsessed" by http://unproductivelyso.blogspot.com/
We are XX by nature. The minute we are conceived, our sex determination "allows" us to conceive and carry a child. Then, months later, we are born. It is then that we are gendered female/girl. We are dressed in a pink something or other in the hospital, given a pink tag around our foot, around our wrist. We are told we look "pretty' or "sweet." These terms continue and when we get a bit older, we are given dolls and are told to pretend to be mommies to our doll babies. Some of us are lucky to be given other toys that do not seal our gender, things like guns and trucks and other fun stuff. But mostly, girls/females/XX are told to play house, play dolls, play nice, wear a dress, don't get dirty. Even the tomboy in us is told, at times, to be more "lady-like."
When or if we rebel, we are reverted back to our sex determination, our XX, with the onset of menses. Period. Aunt Flo. The Bitch. Monthly, we are reminded that we can conceive and carry a child. When we get even a bit older, we are careful not to conceive that child just yet, so maybe we quit wearing skirts and playing with dolls, but we are reminded to use protection, get on birth control, keep our legs closed, sit up straight, be feminine. Every month for 7-10 years we are careful not to stain our knickers or stain our reputations.
When it is "time," and we believe we are ready to fulfill our destination, we find our that our gender, our sex, our bodies have deceived us. We are not who we thought we were, and that makes us a bit confused, maybe a bit angry, maybe a bit frustrated. We wonder how or why or what or whatthefuck? Meanwhile, all around us are ladies popping out babies left and right, friends telling us the news that they are "blessed" with a pregnancy?Blessed? (I hate that term because, logically, if someone is blessed with conception, then those of us who don't conceive are not blessed? And then we are spiritually infertile, too?)
For most of us who have the diagnosis of "female infertility," we want answers as to why. Obsession isn't the right word for this. And I am not sure that any one of us IF girls/women have the correct term for it.