Friday, October 2, 2009

mid-cycle, etc

So I am day 12 of this cycle, and all signs look good. I am not sure about anyone else, but for me, right before I ovulate, my body shoots out bright pink blood. What I mean to say is that I'll have a couple of days of eggwhite CM, then O-cramps, then a bright spot of pink watery CM, then several days of brown spotting with EWCM. This has been happening to me for over a year, so inspite of what the internet says about that being an excellent sign of fertility, I am not reaping any benefits from this mid-cycle ghost. Has anyone heard of this personally or know of this happening to anyone who is TTC? When this first started happening, my OB did bloodwork and a vag. ultrasound and all came back fine.

I don't feel so fine about it.

Tonight I participated in a restorative yoga class. When I practice yoga, I tend to lean toward the power/Ashtanga sort: lots of deliberate movement, lots of sweating, lots of discomfort and breathing. It's always suited me. I am also a runner (although not much of one lately).

However, tonight I took a restorative yoga class. These postures are supposed to be non-aggressive, "delicious" as my teacher calls them. Tonight, not so much. In a pose that was suppose to be soothing, I felt intense pressure on my lower back, my lower front parts. I felt very aware, and although I can't say that it hurt, but the consciousness, the awareness of that area hurt; I cried. I know this sounds weird. It feels weird to talk about it. Today, tonight--I feel like I became aware of something inside that hurts. A deep ache. The root chakra ached. I hope I am explaining this well enough. If this is my IF, my block, I've found it. And I am sad about it.

4 comments:

Circus Princess said...

Wow, that's amazing! Sounds like the yoga is doing something good though, right?
I experienced mid-cycle spotting for almost two years. In spite of my OBGYN telling me it was "a great fertility sign" I just knew something was wrong and asked for more tests. They checked hormones, did paps, endometrian cell check, ultrasound and finally a hysteroscopy. They found a 1.5 cm polyp that filled most of my uterus which they removed and after that, no more spotting, and my extremely painful period cramps virtually disappeared over night. So if this is a new thing for you, I'd would ask for more test! You know your body best.

Lookingforaplussign said...

Thanks for the advice. I see my OB next on Friday for my annual--I'm going to push for an answer.

addingtothepack said...

I'd definitely push for some answers. It is so frustrating though when you are paying out of pocket to know how far to go with the testing when you have no clear direction to look for problems.

The yoga experience sounds intriguing. In some ways I would like to have a physical presence of pain as proof of my infertility, as opposed to the status quo where the physical indications are only a distinct lack of any action in that region.

tishi said...

Sounds like you made a breakthrough in yoga.
crying in a posture, although it feels bad at the
time can be a tremendous release. Yoga,
especially restorative yoga is a wonderful
way explore where your emotional blocks are
and allow healing to take place. It hurts sometimes
to bring fears, doubts and anger to the surface....
but thats how they get released. I know it
sounds really silly to talk about it, I feel like
a crazy person when I say these things, but
it sounds to me like you were doing some
amazing work for yourself.